Sunday, April 01, 2007

Reconnecting…and Related Musings

Usually the hardest part of knowing people, growing up with them or them growing up on you is parting. It is a truism that we meet to part and part to meet (hopefully). The fun part of parting of course is meeting again. This is usually true for old pals- people you shared a lot in common with. It is just simply exhilarating like a kid in the candy store. Nothing best exemplifies this than going to naija trust me.

I remember entering Ibadan the land of my birth late night on New Year day 2007 after spending the previous weeks in Warri and working out there in Lagos. I had been in Lagos for a while and as such made it to join my family coming from Warri in IBD. You will think after the long festivities and journey of the day, it was going to be a short one. But no o. I had to catch up with the Avenue crew. We grew up on this block…shared mind boggling letters (gone are those days, na email dey reign now) that we hastily passed through our parents as they shuttled between Warfi (where my siblings and I schooled) and Ibadan. Going through the pile of letters in my old room when I was there in January was hilarious. My style of writing has hardly changed- so has the people around me. We might have grown up, but speaking into the wee morning with my pals –Delag, Laxzy, Tom-Tom, Ladesky, Sir K, Dapsy (big ups boi) et al just took me back many years. We hung out exact same way a decade ago against the reprimand of our parents of course. Now we were adults- some of us had jobs, others were doing their advanced studies in different part of the world, some are engaged ( Eww! Especially the ladies- na wa for dis hitching thing sef) and we had simply moved on in life. Yet we were the same. Of course, the very younger ones amongst us are now a lot matured- the babies of the hood. LOL..I hope Y and B don’t read this. But both of them are nearing completion of their first degree…life and progress indeed does go hand in hand like Okro and Amala- o sweet Ibadan!

Now I feel nostalgic. Of course visiting my alma mater was also fun. It was catching up time. I tried to take in the environment. Of course I still remembered the places I hung out during my juvenile escapades out of class, the spots the Vice Principal cleaned up my butt with his bulala in DCCW or more interestingly the rocks I hung out with my first “love” at my primary school- yes o, I be strong man in those days too. So you thought I only started today? Shame on you- yeye dey smell. Of course, UNILAG was a whole lot different ball game. The adventures on and new Newest Halls are still very green and I am sure quite a few are still not statute barred. I had a dinner meeting with my UNILAG den mates- about 13 of us in J201 Sodeinde Hall and other neophytes who shared our bed for good and evil in those times. It was fun hanging out in The Palms…how times have changed and all of us have changed with it, yet we remain the same.

Of course, reconnecting is even more enjoyable if it is for the better. Back in December while in Warri, I had gone to the bank and had just alighted from the vehicle when I suddenly heard the shout “senior, senior prefect!” from the middle of no where. There to my amazement standing and looking all manly is B. You see B was my least favorite student while I reigned in the halls of DCCW. He was a truant, rascal and scallywag all rolled into one. But his mom gave me full permission to discipline him and boy did I use it. B suffered no be small. But today he is for the Better. He ran towards me and embraced me. He is now in College and doing very well. I was so proud of him.

So it was with so much surprise when I got an email from an old school mate from primary school this last week. She had so much to say and so did I. Esther na big girl now. My earliest memories of her was being a spoilt gentle kid of a popular politician (names withheld), yet very respectful. Somehow she remembered me for routinely including her in the list of noise makers. Now that is cold. But she is now a woman. We sure will meet some day somehow whether we like it or not. Hence, the lesson is to treat everyone you know or meet fairly/ well or at least try because you never know where life will take you. As the elders say- omi le ni yan. Just my musings

My Folks Were Here!
Talking about catching up, my parents just left Houston after a well spent two weeks vacation. It is always different having them around even though I was in naija in Christmas. I had not spent enough time at home in December shuttling between several cities trying to catch up on old time and indeed work. But they had me all to themselves this time around. It always fun having my folks around- they make the best parents in the world. You can see some picture here. 1 2 3

Summer Reading List Round Up
Am thinking of re-reading one work of Sidney Sheldon (In Memory of the Great Author of political theatrics) and perhaps picking up a John Grisham I have not read. Hence A Time to Kill which has been in the cooler and Windmill of Gods make a fourth and fifth addition to my summer reading list. Two to go.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Can Women Drive?

Okay my country people, I know I missed women day or whatever it is called. So I apologize to all grandmothers, great grand mama, mother, aunties, nieces, sisters, fake sisters, blood sisters, girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, wives, ex-wives, sugar mummies etc I know. Approco, I see your eye brow is already raised- did I say all of them are mine? I said the ones I know. Nonsense and fabrication; however, for this reason, this posting of mine shall be the sexist type.

Naturally, I am not given to huge traffic. I live in Houston a city notorious for its rush hour traffic which is even made more deleterious by the long wide roads and the swath of smoking automobiles that form such urban eye sore. I mean, if traffic catches you for NY or London, at least you know you can park and walk or catch public transport. Well in Houston, let us just say pedestrians were not even factored in at the design stage of road construction. Na so for last Friday I wan do some quick waka for peak period I; comes see me see trouble. I was on the toll road, the freer route, and yet a journey of twenty minutes was taking me an hour and a half. In the midst of my frustration, I realized I had maintained a single lane and it appears to be the slowest.

As per a naija man concerned, na so I change lane fast like a sharp man. But before I could complete my maneuver na so this mad person just rush my bumper like say the yansh of my car na ten kobo stripper. In any case, she missed- thank goodness. You see na woman; and as if this has not gotten more ridiculous I drove less than a mile only to see that we all have been delayed by another yeye woman at the head of the traffic queue. Believe you me, this woman was reading a novel and driving. More surprising was that she literarily has stopped moving and everyone else behind her was in stand still. No honking, no bellowing. As you can guess rightly, at least the next two cars behind her were also driven by women; and were each at different stages of distraction. If it was not involved in some serious gist on the phone, it was moving rhapsodically to some music. They think say I get time? As I journeyed home, I looked around me to observe fellow drivers and it appears to me less than 1 out of 5 women driving were concentrating. The rest of the crew were either doing make up, adjusting their hair, talking on the phone, reading novels/books (so ridiculous) or plain gisting with their fellow passenger; so for your viewing pleasure I am including a picture of how a female only used and operated garage looks like that was sent to me by a co-worker. What a wonderful world!


What Happened to Sexy Air Hostesses?
Jesu, I was waiting for my people coming from naija on Saturday when I saw couple of Air hostess coming out from the Arrival Hall. What happened to Air hostess that you can’t have enough of looking at? Ones that make you book a flight you don’t need to take? Like good meals on air travel, beautiful and sexy air hostesses are a thing of yore: a past that we might never see again. Can you believe this; BA even has this 300 lbs plus Air Hostess? Say na wetin? Me I go fear to enter that kind plane o- imagine just five of these jumbo sized air hostesses: the plane is more likely to go down and more so the food in an infinite journey will probably not go round. Okay, just kidding. I got me some love for the obese sisters too. Big girls need love. Abi no be so? Peace.


Summer Reading List: I am compiling my reading list for summer: my peak reading season. I intend to read at least 7 books this time around; I know I am lazy but you know say with this acada plus full time work thing man must chop. I have three books already lined up and ready for kick off after school quiets down a bit in April. I am open to suggestions and I shall update you as I go…here is the current list: Uncle Tom’s Cabin (H. Stowe), Master of the Senate (Biography of LBJ-Robert A. Caro), Beating the Street (Peter Lynch).

Visiting: Houston Museum of Natural Science and Forbidden Gardens this weekend. I shall share pictures if I am allowed to take any.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Suffer Head No Good O!

My country people, may God never make you a carrier of suffer head. The kain tory wey I wan knack una im sweet my belle make I no lie. And I mean am , as I write am. My belle dey sweetie me, because of the gist wey I wan land una.

Na dis morning wey I wake up, I realize say I never cook my lunch for today. Una sabi say, as I be Ijebu man for my papa side seven generations removed: to dey spend my hard earned ewe on top burger and fries no be my idea of enjoyment. In fact, the suffer wey I suffer last week when I skip bringing lunch to work no be small. I mean wetin; fries and double cheese burger go do for African man? No be Lagbaja talk am – put am well, well.

As I come wake up realize am say, dis suffer head go fit continue dis week na im I come find quick solution. I get one correct white soup wey one of my twin sisters knack me (una no abi say eleven of us my mama born the same time? Since im no get equivalent for French una fit calls us deca-plus-one-tuplets). As a Warfarian, when soup dey you are one minute away from nutritional bliss. Na so I knack correct fire for under my gas cooker, boil quick water, add some correct yellow-garri. My Eba was done in few minutes. I come package am with some of my insulation ideas (proprietary- Patent Pending) to keep am warm, carry one better bottle of cold orange juice with my correct spicy white soup with gizzard and beef in it go work.

Una sabi say, when man dey hunger presentation na secondary. Na so dis “The man” work carry me enter post-noon when the hunger don knack me well, well. Nobody tell una broda how to warm the soup quick-quick for the agbero microwave wey dey our pantry area for work. As I come dey settle down, na im I realize say as per African man concerned I don forget to carry cutlery follow body. Wetin concern agbero, with over load? Abi, wetin concern postman with bad news wey dey inside letter? As I reach my desk , open my soup come see me see trouble o. All dis oyinbo people come dey cough like people wey get epilepsy! Na the pepper o my people. Anyway, na so I no even mind them. I shele go wash my hands, settle down like king – consume my Eba like no tomorrow.

Craze people dey look me why I dey use hand- I dey think for my mind say “see this mugus, suffer head go kill una”. Na so one dey chop chips dey think say im dey civilized. As I look im sunken eyes and red nose, na im I realize say a lack Eba consummation is tantamount to suffer head raised to the power of infinity. As I dey use my correct orange juice dey wash down the Eba, na so my mind come reach all of una wey dey chop burger. Suffer head no good o!
Please Sing After Me
O eba, O eba
When Shall I see eba
When shall I see egusi soup
I will never forget pomo...

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