Monday, March 05, 2007

Suffer Head No Good O!

My country people, may God never make you a carrier of suffer head. The kain tory wey I wan knack una im sweet my belle make I no lie. And I mean am , as I write am. My belle dey sweetie me, because of the gist wey I wan land una.

Na dis morning wey I wake up, I realize say I never cook my lunch for today. Una sabi say, as I be Ijebu man for my papa side seven generations removed: to dey spend my hard earned ewe on top burger and fries no be my idea of enjoyment. In fact, the suffer wey I suffer last week when I skip bringing lunch to work no be small. I mean wetin; fries and double cheese burger go do for African man? No be Lagbaja talk am – put am well, well.

As I come wake up realize am say, dis suffer head go fit continue dis week na im I come find quick solution. I get one correct white soup wey one of my twin sisters knack me (una no abi say eleven of us my mama born the same time? Since im no get equivalent for French una fit calls us deca-plus-one-tuplets). As a Warfarian, when soup dey you are one minute away from nutritional bliss. Na so I knack correct fire for under my gas cooker, boil quick water, add some correct yellow-garri. My Eba was done in few minutes. I come package am with some of my insulation ideas (proprietary- Patent Pending) to keep am warm, carry one better bottle of cold orange juice with my correct spicy white soup with gizzard and beef in it go work.

Una sabi say, when man dey hunger presentation na secondary. Na so dis “The man” work carry me enter post-noon when the hunger don knack me well, well. Nobody tell una broda how to warm the soup quick-quick for the agbero microwave wey dey our pantry area for work. As I come dey settle down, na im I realize say as per African man concerned I don forget to carry cutlery follow body. Wetin concern agbero, with over load? Abi, wetin concern postman with bad news wey dey inside letter? As I reach my desk , open my soup come see me see trouble o. All dis oyinbo people come dey cough like people wey get epilepsy! Na the pepper o my people. Anyway, na so I no even mind them. I shele go wash my hands, settle down like king – consume my Eba like no tomorrow.

Craze people dey look me why I dey use hand- I dey think for my mind say “see this mugus, suffer head go kill una”. Na so one dey chop chips dey think say im dey civilized. As I look im sunken eyes and red nose, na im I realize say a lack Eba consummation is tantamount to suffer head raised to the power of infinity. As I dey use my correct orange juice dey wash down the Eba, na so my mind come reach all of una wey dey chop burger. Suffer head no good o!
Please Sing After Me
O eba, O eba
When Shall I see eba
When shall I see egusi soup
I will never forget pomo...


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