Guess as next year marks a new year in my life, I have been thinking lately what matters in life. My thought process in the last few hours may have indeed been muddled up beyond comprehension (actually scared me a little bit- sorry my peeps that got the panic call - much love! lol) when I begin to capture the ramification of the life I am potentially living and if truly, am living it to the optimum.
No doubt my short time on earth, I have met with my own fair share of triumphs, losses and discontent. I have seen trials, I have tasted victory and I have relished love, pain, loss and contentment. However, even those experiences won't possibly substitute for what I am yet to experience as I enter a new phase in my life. Life so far have largely been lived on my own terms. I do what I like, when I like to do it and with whom I so choose. That will change. That should change.
This for me presents a potential dilemma, only that I am now realizing that it truly is not about me. These past few months have been the ultimate "me" moment. At times I have been careless (and yes, may be I am just being too hard on myself), other times I have been self absorbed, and sometimes gloating. Call it the height of epic selfishness or self aggrandizement. At times like this, one one reflects what truly matters after the crowning achievements, the display of gallantry, the acceptance of accolades, the conquests of all things material and mortal, the unwarranted adulations from peers, strangers and acquaintances alike...when is it just enough?
Don't get me wrong, fundamentally we all seek a basic need to be accepted. But acceptance in itself can only be materially useful to society when one transcends self. It is for this reason even the most selfish of us will still seek communal explanations for advancing our self-interests be it in business, relationships or spiritually. The only check on this mental state of "the man" I believe is the divine. Which brings me to the subject of my faith.
In the middle of my muddled thoughts, and in the midst of the confusions that have been swirling around my head and heart in the past twenty four hours (for no discernible reason(s)), I have come to rediscover the power of my Christian faith. It is faith, in juncture with family and friends that brings these moments together and shows to one what truly matters. What matters is the divine, what matters is others. Yourself last, as that gospel song said..."JOY this is what it means: Jesus first, yourself last and others in between"
May the Lord comfort those that need comfort, and grant Joy to us all that pass all understanding. Amen.