Friday, September 11, 2009

Losing My Mind

I wonder what to scribble
A poem or a prose?
Perhaps from the jungle of my mind
Some mumble jumble will flow
Confused? NO
I am in the know of what is going on
A strange feeling courses through my heart
But it is not strange because it is new
To the contrary,
I have felt this way before
Even as much as I hate to admit it
But I never knew

I never knew I will fell this way again
The weight of true feeling heavy on my heart
This feeling that I thought I have lock for eternity
In that innocent corner of my heart
With feelings of youthful vigor,
With feelings of youthful indiscretions,
No despair, no dissapointment,
Willing to forbid, and forbade none,
I thought these feelings had dissipated for good
With the wrongs of the past,
With the pain of the endings thereof,

Wrong it now seems
For the withering carcasses of this boar has risen
The star of dimming constellation
Born in the revelation of its own glory

I make no pretense
Make no pretensions as to having control over this feeling
This? To be controlled?
It seems absurd to write control and mind in one word
But I feel perturbed in the inward realization of its power
Fear? May be..Fear of what?
That I might lose it? Lose my Mind? No
That I might lose this feeling

How can I be sure,
That she feels the same way,
That this feeling will endure,
That this is not just some fleeting madness,
That this is for real since I had not known one lately,
That what I see is the real thing,
That my understanding will not diminish,
My sight may not falter,
My steps may not come to a halt,
My hands may steer clear of danger..

Admiration? Yes..that one too
I felt it before.
Respect? Perhaps, for one or two
Sensuality? All the time
Collegiality? A real starter
Conviviality? May the spirit of our ancestors endure
But all rolled in one,
That calls for a green light,
Perhaps a champagne,
Perhaps something more real,
More enduring, More Encompassing
Something to lose my mind for

Perhaps if she only knows...


this is