Just Wondering...

I am just back from home: yes home, Nigeria. It was an interesting trip as always. You can check out my album on the web here. I was able to visit a number of places including Lagos, Ibadan, Ekiti, Edo and Delta states. Home have changed since I left- for better I think. By and large Nigeria is moving forward: the anticipation for change is high, hence it might appear slow. But we appear to be slowly getting. Democracy is good- so far at least. I enjoyed the trip more so the people. The spirit of Nigeria is infectious: people who in the face of daunting risk to limb and life achieve the impossible i.e. smiling. I love my country no be small. But of all things in Nigeria, definitely the vacation allowed me to reconnect: with friends and family. My two sisters are such a gift. I am blessed- my parents made the trip even worthwhile. What better can I ask from God? For the gift of family and good health.

While in Nigeria, I had the solemn opportunity to view my nuclear family with an insight you hardly have when you are away from home. I came to appreciate the dynamics of a traditional family. It has strengthened my believe in the system- the traditional one not the modern. It works that is why it has endured for ages. The new system of whatever it is called is just another evil by Lucifer to destroy the peace and love that reigned supreme before they invented their funny ludicrous philosophies. Don't let me start rambling.

Indeed, it has got me wondering. What has got me wondering? My family, my father especially. I have been wondering what kind of family I will have? What kind of father will I be? Will my children love me to death the way I love my father? Will they hold their mother in high esteem the same way I hold mine? Will they see me as a terror or a friend? Will they be able to tell me anything and yet confess that their father (like mine) is a hero, a mentor and a friend? Will they look up to the generation before me as I look up to my grand dad as a shining example of discipline and hard work? What kind of children will I have? Does it matter the kind of mother at the least I choose for them? See...they have no say in that. I have been wondering...Will I? Will I put them to sleep on my chest, prepare their breakfast, take them to school, revise their homeworks? Will I teach them? Run around the yard with them? Play football ? Play cards with them? Will I be able to entertain the exact copy of yours sincerely- everly argumentative and yet on point? Will I tolerate the minnie me? I hope I do..I hope. How about when they grow? Scary unh? Kids!

What kind of father will I be? Will I command fear or respect? Love or indifference? Will I be enjoyed or endured by my family? More so, I guess I have been wondering about myself. We all make mistakes don't we? Will I commit those un-amenable blunders? I pray I don't and I wish I won't. But is life not about falling down and rising up? Will their mother forgive? Will the Children forget? I am just wondering. What sort of husband, father, uncle or grandfather will I be? Yes my sisters- in what light will their children see me? How will they relate to their cousins? What does marriage mean for us three? I loved this Five of us- "Father, Mother and Three Children".

That was the way I defiantly defined family in primary three. I got some good whooping for distorting the definition (actually, father, mother and children) but it came from the heart? I loved our small family and still do. I felt it was the perfect family and still do. I could not imagine anyone had a father, mother and X number of children where X was a number that was not three...a number that was not made up of 2 girls and a boy in the middle, a family that has one or more parents missing. It didn't make sense to me. I defiantly looked my form mistress in the eyes and repeated the definition: "Father, Mother and Three Children"- to hell with you ma'am. At the end, I learnt the hard way of course. But the harder way is the harsher reality that one day I will be at the head of this enterprise called The Family and X might not be 3, the sex make up might be different, the characters are definitely going to be from a space beyond mine and control I have not over what it turns out to be. My family will still remain, only that we will no longer be three. How intrusive! Can you imagine that? Now we will have In-Laws (weird word), Nieces/Nephews (what?) and the some scrummy yum we gotta endure called relatives! I still love it small, but as my father always remind me: you can't always have your way. But this new way is better- and I am determined not to endure it but to enjoy it. Again, what kind of father will I turn out to be? Just wondering....

Your World...Delivered

Often times we wake up wondering what the day holds ahead of us. We fear the unknown, the challenges, the struggles. Life itself is not a cake walk. It is filled with obstacles, detractors, critics and as you already know problems. But what makes a man is the tenancity with which we face our problems turning them into stepping stones instead of stumbling blocks. It is expected of course that each new day is a day we owe our creator- is a day to make a difference. Casting behind you the hues and cries of the never do wells, remembering of course that backbiters do always remain at behind, you can look ahead and around you and see your world that needs you badly to make a difference. A world in need of true peace, love and fellowship. This is your world ...delivered.

Man Know Thyself

The refrain above is one of the mantra more closely associated with the Greek Philosopher - Socrates- generally regarded as a pioneer of western classical thought. The teacher's admonition to know thyself is borne out of the presumption that a man that is aware of his weakness first and then his strength is a better human being. Indeed, "Socrates is famous for arguing that we must Know Thyself to be wise, that the unexamined life is not worth living". It is often said that fifty percent of your personal problems is solved when you know you have a problem.

Every New Year of my life like today, I generally have two rituals. As many of my friends will testify, I do not celebrate in any grand way. Indeed, the last time I celebrated in any grand manner on the 21st of September was my 8th birthday - many years ago. However, there are two rituals that have been an act of self discovery for the past five years. The first is that I take stock of my friends. Today is the day I generally go through my phone records, delete a bountiful number of contacts as I will do in the next two minutes, and weed out the bad influences and those ones that do not meet my minimum standards of loyalty. Loyalty has always been my number one value. A loyal friend is better than a thousand family members I think. It is just the way I have done it, and it is also an exercise in self analysis and discovery.

This leads to the second ritual- which is one of introspection, question asking and indeed perception. I often carry out a poll of someone very close to me in the past one year to find out how I fare on their friendship scale. This questionnaire is usually made up of two options which might not necessarily be antonyms. Questions like Aggressive or Passive, Submissive or domineering, sympathetic or empathetic, problem solving or critic etc. shows up. The honorable subject generally has an option of both, neither or one. The aim of this ritual is to come out of it knowing who I am based on a secondary opinion, evaluating who I can be based on the predication of my goals and will of my creator and fashion a way to be a better individual in the New Year that resumes in every year like today.

Friend, do you know thyself?